Fathers are more than biological

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Growing up I never really sat down and cried wishing my dad was in my life. I have always had a family member to play the role that my father should have played. You see I was raised my strong woman, my grandmother, my mum and my aunties. My uncles were also very much present so I never felt abandoned by my father. To abandon something or someone means you had to be present at some point. So I don't think my biological father qualifies for that statement, he just simply 'wasn't'. I mean you can't miss something you never had. I thank God everyday for the mother I have because she really worked hard to give me everything I needed. I had never even seen a picture of my dad until 2010, a friend of my mother found my dad and told him about me. My dad asked for my number and my moms friend gave it to him. He actually called me and I thought to give him a chance. We spoke a few times on the phone. I wouldn’t say I wasn’t happy, I was, but I didn’t have a lot of expectations. We spoke a few times and then the phone calls started getting less and less until one day they stopped. A few months thereafter I graduated. I took it upon myself to call him and tell him, he said congratulations. After that we didn’t speak again until when I was getting married, this was 2014. I thought to myself, let me tell him, just maybe he'll come and we can meet for the first time on my wedding. What a movie I planned in my head because my good friend, I tell you right now the best I got was a congratulations. Like, ok, what do you want me to do with that. To expect a call from him on my wedding day was far fetched, so obviously that didn't happen. What was worrying was not the fact my father was absent and quite frankly couldn't give a flying toss but more rather that I didn't care or mind. I didn’t feel embarrassed or sad that I didn’t have a dad to walk me down the aisle. I was confident, happy and content with my mums brother doing it because he was a father to me growing up. To think about it, even if my father showed up I don't think I would have given him that role regardless.

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In all honesty I owe my father gratitude because he his absence has played a major role in my life and who I am today. I am strong, wise, forgiving, extremely loving not just for my children but everyone surrounding me. He made me a sense made me understand the true meaning of presence, sounds strange right?..lol. God has always put someone in my life to fill that void so that I can never feel the void. I serve a God that can replace people and you won't even notice, I mean he did it a few times in the Bible and he's still in that line of business today. I now also have an amazing father in law that treats me like his own. As well as another mother TWO moms and a grandfather, what else can a girl want! All I really do desire is to meet my sibling, I know my father has children of his own however I am the only child of my mothers. Not having a biological father around never restricted me from doing what I aspired to do in life because I certainly didn't allow it. You are in total control of your life, you can't control how people act but you can certainly control how you react. For the people that don’t have a dad in their lives trust in God because everything that happens has a purpose and he is the ultimate father you could ask for. He truly does supply or your needs and is there for you 24/7, that's something a human father can't do even if they wanted to. There is that saying that daughters look for a man just like their father. I rebuked that for me and prayed for the opposite and god granted me that prayer, I couldn’t have asked for a better father for my children. He loved our children from the moment we found out we where expecting. He is present in anything they do, he’s loving and caring and goes beyond call of duty for his family. As for my daughter I pray that she meets a man like her father, and as for my son I'm assured his in good hands. Lastly, for my father, you really missed out on knowing this amazing daughter and your first daughter/child at that. I do wish you nothing but goodness.



Love,

Yocana