7 SECRETS TO A SUCCESSFUL MULTICULTURAL MARRIAGE

Being in a multicultural marriage doesn’t sometimes come easy and a walk in the park. With being married to someone that is from the same culture can sometimes be challenging, so imagine when its two different cultures.

I met my husband when i was in college at 19, i always had this idea when i was younger that i would end up with someone from the same country as me. I was closed minded to be honest because you don’t choose who you fall in love with. I am from Angola and we speak Portuguese and my husband is from Nigeria and speaks English and Igbo.

Marrying someone from a different culture will test your relationship in so many levels, the challenges multiplies  in multicultural marriage. Being able to withstand all those obstacles in your relationship, you will have a marriage that  stands anything that is thrown at you.

When i first started going out with my husband, we had so many people judging and even being angry. Saying things like ‘we lost one of ours’. People actually came to me saying why are you wasting your time with a ‘Nigerian’. We never let what people thought to get in the way of our relationship. They aren’t the ones in the relationship so they aren’t going to control us in anyway shape or form. Of course you will sometimes get some family members not happy. In my case i didn’t really get any family members against our relationship, Not to my knowledge, if you have a partner that will protect you no matter what than you might not even know that families have an issue. I get on well with all my husband’s family and so does my husband with my family.

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Make Both Cultures As Important

There is no one culture that is better than the other, sometimes when we get married to a different  culture we either forget about our own culture or want your partner to forget their culture.

Always make both cultures is present and not only one, for example on the day of your wedding. That is a time for unity and not separation from the families. This show that you both have respect for each others culture. My husband and i always had an understanding from the beginning how important our cultures are. And we both weren’t willing to put our culture on the side for the other person’s culture.

Learn Each Others Cultures

My husband and i took the time to really learn each others traditions and what is also important to our parents.  Take the time to understand the symbolism and significance of each other’s traditions. Knowing these traditions will help us also teach our children about our traditions and customs as well as being on the same page.  

Traditional Foods

We both have completely different traditional foods, i have only started eating Nigerian foods after meeting my husband and same goes for my husband. He loves he traditional food so of course it was important for me to learn how to make it. He also loves my traditional foods. I remember at the beginning of our relationship when i didn’t know how to make hes foods, he mum would cook and give it to me, and i would act like i cooked, that was both my mother in law and my little secret haha. It absolutely worked.

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Teach Your Children To Be Bilingual

Make sure to put in effort to teach your children both your languages. This is one thing a my mum was scared of, her grandchildren not knowing how to speak Portuguese. But i have made effort to teach them my language, it isn’t just because of my culture but i believe it will help them in the future to know different languages

This way your children will also accept and embrace both cultural heritage.

Religion And Values

I was raised a catholic, when i started going out with my husband i decided to go to his church a few times he is a christian. I really enjoyed and felt a connection with the church. So i never looked back and ended up changing religion. I didn’t change it because of my husband but because i didn’t feel a connection with mine, i would just go to church because i had to. My mum is catholic and so was my grandmother, so i a catholic because of them.

When to come to a multicultural wedding for it to be successful it means that you need to have all these discussions and come into an agreement, otherwise in the long run so many problem will surface.  It is important that the both of you are happy.


Block The Noise

My husband and i are very strong minded people, and we know what we want. We had so many opinions at the start but we had to black it all out and not let it get in between our relationship. We didn’t let no friends or family members come on the way, all their opinions were irrelevant. We knew what we wanted for our future and here we are today 12 years later

Keep in Touch With Family

I think with both side of the families they were a little scared that they were going to lose their son or daughter. We always stay in touch with our families, we are really close with one another. We love when the two different cultures come together, for events we just blend sometimes you wouldn’t even know who is who.

Love,

Yocana