1. Romantic dinner date at home
Take the kids to your parents or in laws, if they aren’t available your plans don’t have to change just wait until their bed time and set your plan to action.
Make a home cooked meal for your partner. Make sure you set the right mood, by turning off all mobiles and TV. Turn off the lights and put on some candles. This is sure to keep the romance alive.
2. Love Notes
Leave love notes around the house for each other. Just telling each other nice things, with how busy everyone is, sometimes we tend to forget to show how much we appreciate each other. So finding these notes around the house will just help in keeping the appreciation of one another going. Let's try and cut out the waiting until special occasion to do such. Finding beautiful words of appreciation and affirmation can just make you have a whole better day and mood. Being busy is not busy enough to leave these things unattended to. If you can check instagram, make yourself tea at work or even have time to respond to that person that thinks your post is about them, you certainly have enough time to write a note.
Social media: As funny as it sounds, aside from the face to face normal communication. This 21st century social media technology, as much as it has declined communication, I'd say it's dependent on the individual. Use it to your advantage; send your spouse some Memes!! There are millions of funny relatable memes out there in the world, from everyday life to romance. It's a form of reminding them that they are not only your spouse but they are still your friend. Or even something as simple as making them your display picture (DP) when it's not a special occasion, the random acts of social media involvement and acknowledgement. It's a beautiful form of bonding.
Phone calls: Don't just call your spouse when there's a problem, you need something or for important issues. Unconsciously you set a standard for that individual’s mental state when they see your name pop up on their phone. Though those issues may be prominent still make time to call them to talk about rubbish. Something random that'll put a smile on their face is unpredictable. So when they see your call they are more likely to always answer because they look forward to what you have to say whether comedic or of importance. Not same old, what time will you be home, the children have home work, and bills need to be paid blah blah blah. Be that person that's makes stressful significant things look insignificant with your calls. My sister in law is very good with those phone calls. You honestly don't know what she's calling for. To mention one of many, she could go from "I have a meeting" to...
Her: "Did you know I could speak Portuguese"
Me: "No you can't"
Her: "Yes I absolutely can"
Me: "Ok Speak"
Her: "Portuguese" then hangs up.
A random funny moment to remember.
You know, there are some people you see their call coming in and your BP automatically goes high, the natural gifted sadists of life. Don't be that person for your spouse, just don't.
Face to face: Though the other aspects are great, nothing beats having that one to one, face to face communication. Spend some time in the day to just sit and communicate with each other. Express your feelings and witness the expressions live. Let each other know of any worries or problems that you have. This is also an opportunity to see live what your partner reads in the notes. Listening and understanding what your partner is saying is so important. Play games; enjoy each other's company more than anyone else because you're spending the rest of your lives with each other so you might as well not make it a sentence but a vacation.
4. Have a day of not doing anything
Send the kids to their grandparents and just have that day to stay in the house and do absolutely nothing. But relaxing with no kids for you to look after, no shouting of "put that down" or "get down from there". Just the top of you, this will really help revitalise you and bring you closer as a couple.
5. Doing things together
Little things like having breakfast and dinner together. Even try and do lunch together in your busy schedules at work. Obviously this varies depending on distance but if you're within proximity why not. Watching a movie at home or cinema and going to bed at the same time. Praying together is very vital because the bible speaks heavily on agreement. Not only is it a form of bonding but also a strategy of moving the hand of God. Prayer can actually be a strategic way of finding out what's really on your spouse’s heart and mind. At the end of the day God should be your best friend and you should tell him everything. So when you're in that state of talking to your best friend you spew everything out. Use that moment to your advantage and take note for the betterment of your marriage. There are many things you can do together and trust me it helps and it makes a difference.
6. Being Intimate
I know sometimes it’s hard when you have children as you just feel tired and want to sleep when the kids go to bed. But it is very important to have that time with your partner of intimacy because intimacy is all about connection, openness, and vulnerability. Please avoid scheduling; it just takes away from everything. They just begin to feel like part of a system. They may already feel like that at work so why would you now want them to come to the same thing. Try your best to remain spontaneous and open. As important as your children are to you both, your spouse is still more important. Your agreements and disagreements will surely affect everything else surrounding. So work together so everything else can work.
7. Resolving Arguments
Having too many arguments and screaming at each other all the time will only lead the romance to it's grave. It is very important to sit down and work on each other’s difference. Don’t have pride and stay days without talking over an argument. Try your best to solve it the same day. Learn how to sit down and discuss hard situations calmly. Make sure you are listening to the other’s point of view. You both have to be prepared to change and understand each other. Don't listen to reply, set your mind to listen to understand. Also sometimes actions are better than the word sorry. People get tired of the word sorry but they never get tired of one proving it. Work at proving yourself more than explaining yourself. Exhibit their importance in your life, hold them on a pedestal. There is nothing more romantic than a spouse who honours you. In honour there is acknowledgement. In acknowledgement there is understanding. In understanding there is communication. In communication there is bond and in bonding there is romance. Be the one to give it life not the one who takes it’s life.