Supporting your spouse when you are unemployed. I'm sure majority of us have been there at a period in our life/marriage.
I wouldn't say being unemployed was a choice. I have been unemployed since I had my first child two years ago. With two children back to back, finding work can almost be impossible. And let me just tell you things have not been easy at all. However I apparently carried myself in such a way that made people assume we were rich..AMEN! We receive it! You see as a wife it is your job to shield your home, this means your husband and children. People outside would have no idea that we are facing serious financial difficulties sometimes because of how we worked as allies rather than sworn enemies. It is sad that financial instability is a common denominator for the factors of divorce. Bad mouthing my husband to friends was certainly a taboo the way I was raised. Rather the way I spoke of him reflected in people's perception of how they thought our lives were.
Yes my husband and I have arguments, who doesn't? However we have never and will never argue over money. We have learned to really communicate well making sure that we support each other at the hard times. Naturally women are receivers whilst the man is a giver. This means that the atmosphere set regarding the lack of money rests in the hands of the wife. Therefore I decided that, I will not ask, neither will I be a volunteer to adding unnecessarily pressure. Of course I know my husband would want to splash on me if he had the money, which is good enough for me.
I know how hard my husband works to provide for our family. I respect him so much and admire the strength he has to do what he does. It's really hard on him to see his family be in such a predicament. This is why I stress on the importance of choosing to be happy. For him to come home and see how happy we are even without the things we'd like to have reduces the pressure on him and adds long life to him. Why do I say long life? Stress can cut ones years short and I certainly plan to live to our grey hair with my husband. You can't let full set acrylic nails and LV bags be the reason for your spouses heart attack.
There's a big difference between encouragement and pressure. Encouragement will take you further than pressure. I'd rather have a home built on solid ground than sand. I'm not looking for a temporary fix. My children will not be booking visiting times to see their father in prison because I wanted "branded Cereal" tesco value will not kill you! I'm looking for a life changing encounter. So I followed Gods lead and thus far God has been good!
If you have married into a good family which I hope we all have, feel free to raid their wardrobes and fridges...They also do it to us! LOOL. Caution, I do not advise this if your in-laws hate you! HaHa
Here are 10 major tips to helping you get through:
1) Make sure you're marrying the person God has for you. This encourages you to work things out because really and truly where else are you going to.
2) Remain prayerful, learn to talk to God first about your needs and problems before you talk to anyone else. He's the only one that always has a solution. Keep praying as a couple and on your own.
3) When you're feeling down about the things you don't have. Weigh it with what you have and ask yourself are you willing to trade? Answer is most likely NO!
4) Choose your friends wisely, control the environment you choose to put yourself in because it can honestly make or break your marriage/you.
5) Keep your PEACE!!! Enjoy the moments when you struggled, because that's what builds an intimate memorable unique foundation in your marriage that no one else will understand but you two.
6)I don't ask him for money to go out with friends. I know if I do ask him and he doesn't have any to give me he will feel really really bad.
7) I make sure we only buy what we really need and not want. Like the house shopping, diapers, things for the children etc.
8) If he gives me money to go shopping I save for the rainy days, so when those days come and I pull out that money REAL QUICK! He's surprised and I'm the real MVP!
9)Remain encouraging them. Make the most out of the little you have, like little romantic dinners at home once in a while. Just talk to him and tell him how much you are proud of him. Trust, it goes a long way.
10) Center the things you do around your family and not to impress others, this will help you make better accurate decisions. Also do not Grace their opinions with your time. This will drive you crazy and will become the orchestration of insignificant arguments with your spouse.
Remember that God does things in his own time, not ours. However make sure you first align yourself in the will of God. That is where manifestation springs forth and delay is rejected.